Comedy bars. Ganito lang 'yan: kapag diabetic ka, 'wag kang kakain ng sobrang kanin o matatamis; kapag ayaw mong magka-lung cancer, 'wag kang maninigarilyo; kapag bakla ka, 'wag kang titikim ng babae. Comedy bars. Parang war lang 'yan: 'wag mong susuungin kung alam mong hindi ka handa sa laban, or else, uuwi kang bitter. That's all.
***
By the way...
I think my tenuous understanding of sarcasm will kill me someday:
"Ralph, gaano ka kadalas mag-post ng status update sa Facebook? Pero witty ka naman kaya okay na na na-f-flood ang News Feed ko." — Tito Alex
I spoke with GMA News' Cesar
Apolinario on Facebook to know his thoughts on the controversial Vice
Ganda-Jessica Soho row which had sent netizens abuzz last week.
Ralph Revelar-Sarza: Good
afternoon, Mr. Cesar. What's your take on Vice Ganda's controversial "rape" jokes on Jessica Soho?
Cesar Apolinario: Hi i already posted my comment. Have u seen it? [sic]
Dear Vice Ganda,
Rape is a Heinous
sickening crime & A rape joke is rude, a product of a sick mind. ANG JOKE
DAPAT NAKAKATUWA, DI NAKAKASAKIT!
RRS: Already have, Sir.
Thank you.
CA: But you know what, vice ganda is a brilliant comedian. i actually watch some
of his films and for me he is doing great. But on that particular issue, for me
it's an epic fail. Maybe he was just so overwhelmed about the reactions he's
been receiving. People were cheering, clapping and laughing like there was no
tommorrow. It was very clear that the audience, mostly vice's fans loved his
antics and they laughed at it. So the tendency was, vice thought what he was
doing was right not knowing that it isnt right. like what i said
Rape is a Heinous
sickening crime & A rape joke is rude, a product of a sick mind. What would
the relatives of the victim think while hearing such bad joke and the victims
for that matter. It would be painful for them. but i do hope he realizes his mistakes and i
know he would because he is an educated person. Tingin ko rin dapat maging
maingat at laging tandaan hindi lang ni vice, kundi ng iba pang komedyante na
ANG JOKE DAPAT NAKAKATUWA, DI NAKAKASAKIT NG KAPWA. [sic] RRS: That's what I was trying to tell a friend, na dahil sa kasikatan at sa uri ng following na meron siya,
nagiging agenda-setter na si Vice. Your thoughts po? CA: Agenda-setter,
i hope not. yes he is popular and he has many following. The danger here is
that people idolize him. Cheering and chanting to a wrong act is like agreeing
to it. but
Still people look up to him and i just hope that people should know how to
separate good and evil. There
are some comedians who crack joke without them hurting others. There's
a big disparity between a cool joke or a witty joke and a bad joke that hurts a
person's emotion. I think vice has plenty of cool jokes because i have heard of
them even before he became popular because i watch him in comedy bars. I guess
maybe he realizes this now. [sic]
RRS: Sure thing. I believe Vice has
learned from this bigtime. Lastly, what are your thoughts on some people's opinion
that the comedian's intention was just to crack a joke before a particular
crowd? Is Araneta Coliseum not a place for comedy-bar jokes?
CA:
We can't please everyone. Each of us has something to say about this issue and
i respect that. But the question is do we agree that a rape joke should
continue? Do we all have the right to laugh, chant and give it a round of
applause? Maybe they have forgotten that there are souls that needed to be
healed, i am sure there are relatives and victims of rape out there that until
now seek for justice and that everytime they hear the four letter word, these
innocent people who experienced trauma would certainly recall that worst event
in their lives and that they could not even spell the what rape is because of
the trauma and the thought. I have encountered countless stories about kids
being raped and women who tried to commit suicide becuase the got raped. Going
back to the question about where it happened, big dome, Comedy bars, Inisde a
classroom or in the comfort of our home... Still it is wrong because the act
itself is wrong and we cannot justify it. I hope that the joker himself and
those who laughed at the joke do not have a younger sister because if they do
And if this person asks about their take on the issue. I hope they won't laugh
and that they wouldn't say. "It is ok to joke about such henious
crime." Respect the women's right that's all we need to do. [sic]
Bullying the bully
The best part of Vice Ganda's job is getting paid for being a bully.
This is the kind of job that will definitely not please everyone, especially in
a country run by very sensitive and self-righteous people who
are unconsciously afflicted with inferiority complex. And when the
comedian made a joke about Jessica Soho being raped, these people were quick as
hell to give a shit. The consensus: you do not joke about rape or domestic
violence.
I have seen the video of the controversial routine, and it was
very clear that the intention was not to joke or sound callous about rape
victims, but to mock obesity. It had been made clear that the concert was
a comedy-bar show intended for a bigger audience. This is the reason why I
asked Mr. Apolinario whether or not the Big Dome is suited for comedy-bar
jokes. But were the "rape" jokes the real issue? As far as I am
concerned, no. Of course not (again, it was a comedy bar-inspired concert,
people!). The real issue here is once again proving that it usually takes a
familiar face to call attention to a particular social ill. And the more
important question that was never asked? What if it wasn't Jessica Soho? What if it was
just a random woman from the audience? Would it be this big? I don't think
so. This whole thing is no different from being apathetic about heinous killings until dozens of
journalists lost their lives in the infamous Maguindanao massacre.
Proper context—where were you when the hypocrites needed you most? ***
Sa higit dalawang dekada ng ating pagiging mag-ina, ang dami-dami ko nang natutunan mula sa'yo. Ikaw ang unang nagturo sa akin kung paano maglakad, at ikaw rin ang unang nagturo sa akin kung paano tumayo mula sa pagkakadapa. Ikaw ang unang yumakap sa buo kung pagkatao at sa ilang mga bagay na hindi gaanong naiiintindihan ng lipunan. Hinayaan mo akong magkasala dahil alam mong sa kabila ng lahat, may mapupulot akong aral. Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin ng kahalagahan ng pagsasakripisyo at pagiging matatag sa kabila ng lahat ng kakulangan natin sa buhay. Ikaw ang unang taong nagturo sa akin kung paano magmahal nang higit pa sa kayang ibigay ng ibang tao. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit patuloy akong nakikipaglaban para sa ikagaganda pa lalo ng ating buhay. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ko nakakalimutang humalakhak sa kabila ng malulungkot na sandali ng aking panahon. Ikaw ang buhay ko, Mama. AT dahil super effort ako, babawasan ko ng isang libo ang padala sa sunod kong sweldo! Hahaha! I love you, Ma. Happy Mother's Day!
To our moms:
Sa Mama kong mas maganda sa'kin, sa lahat ng housewives, working moms, sa mga nanay na nasa Heaven na, sa mga dalagang inang umiwas sa abortion, sa mga nanay na miyembro ng Liga ng mga Chismosang Misis sa Barangay, sa mga nanay na hindi naniniwalang bading si Piolo Pascual, sa mga nanay na nagme-menopause na, sa mga bading na nanay, sa mga nanay na may diabetes, sa mga nanay na mahilig sa tong-its at walang pang-tuition kay Junior, sa mga nanay na mahilig magpabunot ng buhok sa kilikili, sa mga nanay na sobrang bait lalo na kapag kinsenas/katapusan, kay Edith Burgos, sa mga nanay ni Ruffa, ni Manny, at ni Bimby, happy Mothers' Day po! Kayo na!
Despite the fact that it's a product of lazy songwriting, and its interpreter has a questionable vocal prowess, Daniel Padilla'sNasa Iyo na ang Lahat is, to some extent, unputdownable if it were a book—the kind that you should forget for the rest of your life after reading it once.
The film’s visual power is clearly a product of Ang Lee’s unflinching
eye for subtle and technical details. Life of Pi presents itself as a visual
feast for the eye, but at the end of it, it’s the heart that burps. ★★★★/★★★★★
Thanks to Quentin Tarantino, “bloody” and
“funny” can now be put together in a single sentence. Apart from superb
performances byChristoph Waltz and Leonardo
DiCaprio, Django Unchained succeeds because it’s violent, it’s offensive, but
it doesn't give a damn. Dangerously desensitizing yet generally
gratifying, this Tarantino bloodbath is Spaghetti Western at its most delicious
depiction. ★★★★/★★★★★
A Michael Haneke masterpiece that tests patience, Amour is exclusively for those who can sit through an absorbing storytelling which unique brand of silence effectively works for the eye instead of the ear. Should it nab the best picture Oscar, I would be shocked but would certainly not be surprised. ★★★★/★★★★★
An ambitious dramatization of Uncle Sam’s successful manhunt for “UBL,” Kathryn Bigelow’sZero Dark Thirty is an eye candy that every American should taste, every history junkie should chew, and every Jessica Chastain follower should swallow. ★★★★/★★★★★
When Pat (Bradley Cooper) tossed that Hemingway book straight through his window, I was captivated. When Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence) made her first appearance, I was beguiled. When the film ended, I felt so lonely, and wrote this on Twitter:
Fueled by Cooper's charm, Jennifer Lawrence's consistency, Jacki Weaver's stare, and Robert De Niro's everything, SLP is not just a promise of a happily-ever-after: its beginning provides an infectious yet somewhat doubtful optimism, and its middle is an assurance that the story will end with you realizing that great Hollywood rom-coms still exist. ★★★★/★★★★★
Deriving benefits from its convincing
authenticity and marvelous supporting cast, Ben Affleck's Argo is an
enthralling 120-minute-long thriller which suggests that movies do not
necessarily have to clock in at an exhausting three-hour running time to
achieve superiority. Will it nab the best picture Oscar? Highly likely.
I often use the word "compelling" to describe emotionally intense films, but I've never meant it more than I do right now. Based on a true story, Juan Antonio Bayona's The Impossible is impossible to hate acting-wise, and is auspicious for having an impeccable cast. The film successfully plays up Naomi Watts' exceptional ability to transform herself into her character, and Ewan McGregor's immeasurable charm (which, I believe, is his strongest suit). The plausible performances of the film's child actors should also not be missed. That newcomer Tom Holland? What an astonishing revelation! Be prepared to fall in love.
The Impossible may not be hard to fault for its (forgivable) predictability, but its powerful presence and fittingly woven elements are too striking to deserve a snub. ★★★★/★★★★★
The idea of not pre-recording
the songs by having them sung by the actors as the cameras roll is commendable;
but that concept crumbled immediately when Russell Crowe opened his mouth and
began to sing. Sorry but the man just can't sing to save his life!
Anne
Hathaway’s performance was stunning. Will she win an Oscar? Yes.
Beasts of the Southern Wild is an enigmatic masterpiece that
will tickle your tear ducts on the sixty-eighth minute, and will leave
you wanting more when the end credits begin to roll. ★★★★/★★★★★
MAY MGA BAGAY na
kailangan munang palipasin—mga bagay na kailangan munang palamigin bago
natin matutunang lunukin. May mga bagay na hinahayaan na lang nating lumipas sa
takot na baka tayo makulong sa kawalan ng saysay.
Marunong tayong magalit ngunit marunong din tayong
magpatawad. Nagpapatawad tayo dahil gusto nating makalimot. Gusto nating
makalimot dahil gusto nating ipagpatuloy ang buhay na walang bigat na dinadala.
Ngunit hanggang kailan natin kayang
ipagwalang-bahala na lang ang mga bagay na minsa’y pumukaw sa ating mga isipan
at nagtulak sa atin para makialam? Hanggang kailan nating kayang magbigay ng
isa pang pagkakataon?
Hindi masama ang magpatawad, ngunit hindi rin
masamang bigyan natin ng pagkakataon ang ating mga sarili na alalahanin ang mga
bagay na minsa’y naging dahilan ng ating pagkatisod.
Marunong tayong bumangon, pero sana huwag nating
kakalimutan kung bakit tayo nadapa.
BREAKING NEWS:
The ‘yes’ votes apparently have it! Nominal voting confirms House voice
vote approving #RHbill on second reading #Philippines - As tweeted by Ralph Revelar Sarza
UPDATE | OFFICIAL TALLY: YES - 113; NO - 104; ABSTAIN - 3
AMID the telling infancy of relevant independent
films and their perceived impact on the society, there is something big going
on in the mainstream Philippine cinema. ABS-CBN Film Productions, Inc. (doing
business as Star Cinema) recently
paved the way for them to rake in money from the fervent moviegoers (who have
Popoy and Basha forever in their hearts) by bringing home Mario Maurer, the Asian sensation who made us all fall in love in
the 2011 sleeper hit Crazy Little Thing Called Love.
Directed by Rory B. Quintos, Suddenly It’s Magic is
Maurer’s first Filipino film, and his first big screen team-up with our very
own Erich Gonzales.
When heartbroken
Thai actor Marcus Hanson (Maurer) runs away from his fame to the Philippines,
it isn’t only anonymity that greets him upon his arrival in the picturesque
Ilocos Norte, but also an encounter with Joey Hermosa (Gonzales), a Filipina
baker whose heart is also devastated.
Suddenly It’s Magic is
a failure. It seems to be a bedtime story made up by a sleepy storyteller who promises
not to let you have a nightmare despite not having the necessary materials to
give you a good night’s sleep.
Because of the film's problematic script, Maurer and Gonzales' all-out effort to make their team-up "magical" seems to be out of place. It also frustrates me that the writing fails to draw advantages from the use of the Thai language—an appealing element that could have made those particular scenes where Marcus is having a conversation with his mother more believable. Suddenly It’s Magic may satisfy those who salivate for Maurer, but its entirety is an insult to those who salivate for an outstanding storytelling.
Manila Time
